MY FATHER WHO IS IN HEAVEN

Image by Getty Images via Daylife

"Better to have regrets about what you did wrong than about what you never did." my father would say.

My favorite picture of my father is the one in his high school basketball uniform. He looks like he hadn't a care in the world.
He often would encourage my brothers and I to take some risks especially when it came to career goals or paths in life. He knew first hand what regrets could do to the soul. He was offered a scholarship to play basketball for a great private university after graduation but the scholarship did not cover books and personal expenses and being first generation American born, his parents did not understand the prestige or opportunity a college education could mean. They did not believe they had the means to provide for the expenses not covered by the scholarship and so Dad never got the chance to attend that university or any other. He knew regrets but never let them own his life.

He never complained that he had to work two jobs most of his life. He never took vacations or spent any money frivolously.  He took great pride in his family. He was a self made man; an extremely gentle and good man who even at his death just wanted to be at home with his loved ones. He was given a diagnosis of terminal cancer just 5 short months before he died. He died with a smile on his face because that is how he lived his life...grateful...regardless. Yes, I am sure he knew regret, he just never made it more than an acquaintance.


I admired my father all of my life because he taught me what I needed to know. He taught me to believe I could do anything and especially to try and accomplish whatever dream I had. But, most importantly, he taught me that I should not beat myself up when I failed or made mistakes but that I should simply not make the same mistake twice. It was exceptional advice, because I made many mistakes. But I don't think I made the same mistake twice. He knew regret could take the moment and ruin the rest of one's life.


He also taught me that it truly is better to regret the outcome of something you did than to regret never trying to do it in the first place. While I know he experienced regret, he only allowed his regret to redirect him to another possibility. He would not dwell on what was lost, unattainable or uncompleted. He would concentrate on making the best of what was left rather than on despairing over what was gone. He knew how to live a full life until the end because his definition of "full" did not depend on what society thought was a sign of success. His measuring stick was his God and his own life. He allowed himself the luxury of being happy in the moment. I don't think I ever met a person that disliked my father. You couldn't help but like him because he saw the glass as half filled even when it was empty.


What do you regret? Why? Do you dwell on what you lost, didn't achieve, failed to accomplish or complete? 

Where is that regret getting you? Start today eliminating one regret you will never have...live each day as though it were your last, because one day it will be and you will have nothing to regret when it arrives.